I want to share Zachary's Birth story for a few reasons:
1. I want to record it so that it is available to look back on. The details are already getting less sharp.
2. I want to share it for myself. I think it is healthy for me to want to share an event that changed my life.
3. I want to share my birth for others. Birth should be celebrated. It is a wonderful, hard and painful thing. But it welcomes in a new life. If we keep it private and secret, then that is what it will be. I want to share my story so that others can read it. I loved reading birth stories while I was pregnant and I still do. The more we talk about birth the more normal it will be, and the less scary it will be.
November 5 2012
My phone rang at 4am, it was a 231 area code number that I didn't recognize. I always wonder if someone died when I get calls really early in the morning. It was someone with the wrong number. I went to lay back down, and I felt a warm gush and was pretty sure my water broke. I told James "Oh no, I think my water broke!" and walked to the bathroom (I didn't want my water to break because I didn't want to be induced incase labor didn't start on its own). Yes indeed my water broke.
I threw in a load of laundry real quick because all my stretch pants were dirty. I wore a dress to the hospital to go get checked-at the midwives request. At the hospital (5:30am) the midwives said I was 3 cm, and that I could labor at home like I wanted to, but I had to come back within 18 hours if labor didn't start on its own. I was getting little contractions so I wasn't too worried about that anymore.
James and I went home, I showered and noticed that the contractions-still far apart-were starting to get a bit stronger. I switched the laundry out, because I really didn't want to go back to the hospital in a dress.
Around 10am I was getting contractions that were starting to really hurt. James and I were watching the news and I remember the hilarious Saturday night live skits on Hurricane sandy being rerun. I think that's the only time I laughed during labor. From 10:30 until 1:00 I spent the rest of the time on my exercise ball working through contractions. I had a lot of back pain. We really wanted to wait until contractions were 3-4 minutes apart until we went to the hospital. We had prepared for labor and birth as best as we could. We took the Bradley classes, and every other class our hospital offered, and I had researched a lot to prepare for the big event. Our goal was a natural, unmedicated birth.
I listened to enya and got in the zone, I tried my best to let go of the pain, and let it work with my body rather than against it. Some contractions were definitely worse than others. I was starting to understand why women choose the epidural to manage the pain. Its pretty unavoidable. James and I wanted to wait until my contractions were 3-4 minutes apart. My back was killing me, so James pressed a bag of frozen peas against my back to help with the pain during contractions. During the contractions I would just sway on the ball while leaning over the bed. I would get up to go to the bathroom and noticed that contraction was always worse, and they got closer together while standing. I was getting nervous. I really felt like we should go to the hospital. I told James that. I was getting mad at James because he kept trying to tell me we needed to stay home a little longer and work through a few contractions. In his defense I told him I would tell him during labor that I would want to go to the hospital but his job was to keep me home until my contractions were 3-4 minutes apart. We waited a couple more hours.
The contractions just all of the sudden started speeding up and were like 1-2 minutes apart. We decided it was time to go the hospital. The contractions jumped from like 5-7 to 1-2 mins apart. I was nervous that baby would be born in the car. I threw on whatever I could, and I wore a dress to the hospital. Ughh! I hated having contractions in the car, but it was only a 20 minute drive. By the time we got to the hospital I was ready to kill someone.
I got up to labor and delivery 3 contractions later. Much to my dismay the nurses wanted to hook up the heart rate monitor to see how baby was, and they did a cervical check and a heplock. I was at six centimeters, and really not too happy about it. You'd think they had never heard a laboring woman, I moaned through contractions as I was instructed and it helped just to vocalize. I didn't like how they sneered when I moaned, I thought it was rude. I worked through contractions in the delivery room, and at some point decided I had had enough and wanted to get the epidural. I could tell James was a little upset, and I felt bad. I was just so exhausted. I was transitioning. About a half hour later-for some reason the nurse kept asking me questions while I was working through contractions-which I still don't understand, and I asked where the heck that epidural was!? She said he was busy. I was getting angry, and started to feel like I needed to push. My midwife-who I loved came in to check me, and hallelujah told me I was 10cm and ready to push. They asked if I still wanted that epidural-I obviously did not. James was so excited!
I pushed when I got the urge. No one counted. I pushed as hard as I could. I felt that ring of fire. At some point they told me I needed to get baby out and push as hard as I could. I did, and his head was out! What an amazing thing to hear, I could not believe it! They asked if I wanted to feel-I said no-I will maybe with the next baby. I was just concentrating on getting him out. Next push I felt him come out.
He was So small! That was my first though. I cried tears of relief-not joy. I was so glad it was over. I held him and just admired him. No one took him to be cleaned. No one cut his cord. I just got to cuddle his little naked natural self. I don't think he really even cried. He was just beautiful. I loved him then but I love my Zachary so much more now. It was not instant omg I am in love for me. It took time. I loved him, and he was mine, I was just in shock.
I only pushed for about 25 minutes total. I had no tearing. What a blessing. Zachary was born at 3:33pm 7lbs .07oz 19.25 inches. My labor and delivery was 11 and a half hours long.
I got lots of skin to skin time before he was weighed and his cord was clamped. I even got to breastfeed him for the first time before they weighed him. It was a beautiful birth. It took time for me to see that, but it really was a huge day/moment for me. I will never forget it. Birth is empowering. I am so glad I was able to have a natural birth, I was able to experience birth as it was meant to be. I beat myself up for wanting an epidural at the end-but you know what? Everyone does that! Its part of transitioning. And at the end-I really did do it all natural and drug free, and I am proud of myself.
Zachary is a healthy and beautiful baby boy! We have been breastfeeding since the beginning and really don't plan on stopping until he decides to stop. Our goal was 1 year, and I think we are going to make it. It isn't always easy, and it sure wasn't at the beginning, but I do it because I can and its the best thing for him.
I plan on having a natural birth with my next baby as well because the recovery is so super easy. I was up and walking in the delivery room.
I understand that women make choices for their births different from mine, and I completely understand and respect that. Not everyones birth goes as planned. But however birth goes-it is a life changer!
